I’m experiencing a sudden explosions of different varieties of something to be anxious about, actually some nonsensical things, not to be ponder really, something that I shouldn’t be thinking at this point of my life. Things that’s important but at the same time shouldn’t be cramped into my long list of frustration and depression.
I know, I know! I shouldn’t be thinking and worrying about these, esp now I’m on my 7th month. On another note, I’m taking Isoxilan to calm my nerves. I need to take this 3x a day for a week as per OB’s advised prior to what I’d experienced last week during typhoon (sudden uneasiness, weird cramps, my baby loves moves too much like on a panic, pelvic and below belly button weird sensation — not painful but got a funny discomfort down there) And worrying about this won’t do any good for me and baby.. Sigh.. So let’s go back to what I’m saying about money. I actually left my full time job in a foreign country due to my pregnancy. It’s actually not easy for me to do as I’ve never stopped working ever since I graduated from University. Even as a student in fact, I’m doing freelancing stuff. So imagine how difficult for me to make such decision. Yeah right. But my “baby loves” made things much easier to decide (In the future, If you’re reading this my baby love, our son, Mummy just pretends she doesn’t want to leave work but were actually very excited to just fatten herself up and slack whole day, everyday hehe) It’s true that I’m excited to just slack and totally forgot about office work but anxious as we don’t really have much savings to support my… whimsical activities (shopping that is!)… I mean, for emergency purposes. So me not working means less income as we also need to save for our baby’s birth / delivery. We also don’t have a local medicard to lessen or support our expenses for the hospital bills on that final day.
To be fair, it’s actually more than enough but because we’re paying some other important things so it’s taking a huge chunk out of our finances and what’s left will be for our baby to be used up in October (fingers crossed — this isn’t my due date but paranoid that I am, thinking I might popped early if too stressed! Bloody hell! ) / November — This is my due date about last week of November in fact. Tomorrow, will be our baby shopping day, so earlier I was doing some computation where the heck should I get the money from for shopping?! I’m quite dizzy actually balancing / deleting / adjusting our finances. We had unnecessary expenses some time ago, so this expenses eat up our shopping allowance for our baby… damn the typhoon who ruined our internet connection for a week! Because of that we had to resort in buying a wifi gadget for hubby’s work.
So wifi got = shopping moolah gone with the typhoon! That’s my dilemma. As our budget is computed up to every last cent of it it’s very difficult if there’s a huge chunk of deduction. It’s very risky actually. The hospital / ob that we’re consulting is quite expensive. It’s one of the most expensive hospitals near our place actually. The reason why we choose this is because, we’ve been doing consultations there for quite a long time. I’m very comfortable with my OB and not really interested to look for another one from another less-ex hospitals. It’s very, very near our house and It’s actually a very good hospital thus super expensive. There is actually other hospitals near our home but not so keen as we had a bad experienced few years back. My hubby will always say not to sacrificed the quality of hospital service. I’m just hoping that we’ll go and deliver as NORMAL as planned (that’s why I’m super obedient regarding my diet – what to eat and to avoid, doing what I can just to have a NORMAL delivery) and our baby will be cooperative “that day” hehe… Praying… praying..
Secondly, Our Own Place.
Currently, we’re staying in my parent’s house. It’s not as comfortable so we had to do some renovation for our room to prepare for our baby’s arrival. Renovation again means money money money. This isn’t what we planned for. But problem arises when rats, cockroaches and ants infested the corners of the room. So we have no choice. It’s also very hot / humid as half of the house wherein the room that we’re staying were built in woods without any exhaust / cooler. It has aircon and we have fans though, but still it’s not as comfy compared to the rooms upstairs which my parents and my younger sibling stays. But again, those rooms are quite small and has it’s own problems like too cramped and doesn’t have any windows. Dunno why my mom allows such structure but oh well it’s already built so no point. Their rooms are made of concrete so its much cooler and located upstairs. No infestations going around their rooms unlike ours. We’re actually planning to move out by 2nd quarter of the following year once our place is done. It’s near my parent’s home and its a nicer place though it’s just a small studio unit. With all the amenities and located on higher grounds with no floods to worry about! Initially, it’s not really a place for us to stay. We planned to rent it out for additional income and just continue to stay at my mom’s. But the thing is, it’s not really very, very convenient and comfortable to stay together with your parents and brother, in a place esp when you’re already married and raising a kid. I mean, if you have options, of course why not move out right?! I hate floods and these sort of infestation. It’s not healthy. There are pros and cons. Although sometimes I still think its nice to stay with them, so I can always see them everyday, BUT these floods, and infestations are damn annoying… the infestation that we couldn’t control because of the structure of the house, same goes for floods because my parents house is located in a very low ground. You really can’t help it esp monsoon season…
The horror that I’ve experienced last week was arghhhh… If I’m not pregnant maybe I can tolerate this. But now?! Noooo… I don’t think I can settle for this esp now that we’re going to have a small kid. It’s very difficult and I worried a lot up to the point that I couldn’t sleep the entire evening just watching the floods go higher and higher. It made me tensed so much that I thought my baby’s going to come out. It almost reached our 2nd floor that’s why I’m too stressed! Although my parents house consist of 3rd floor and rooftop with shed, there’s basically no room upstairs for us to be comfy or sleep in! It’s basically a kitchen with my mom’s and bro’s room. And the spoiled kid doesn’t want to share his. So we ended up sleeping at my mom’s room which is basically very small and looks like a storage area because she’s been putting a lot of old things inside which she thought to have sentimental value and don’t want to throw away. T_T
That point in time, I told my hubby if the typhoon still doesn’t go away. As soon as the rain stops and the waters lower down to knees level, we have no choice but to move out and look for a hotel that we can stay in for a day or two because I couldn’t take my stressed tummy and the annoying situation that were in.
So that sums it up. I guess If we didn’t bought that new place, I guess we’ll just settle in staying here for another few months or years before we get to have our own place hehe. Since my mom’s alone now so I thought it’s good to stay with them while were here in our country. And besides hehe, we’re actually saving a lot of money by staying with them since what we’re sharing is just maybe half of what we’re going to spend once we move out. But then again, pros and cons. I’m also quite irritated with my brother’s behaviour. I don’t want to stress my mum regarding this. He’s the youngest so I guess that explains the spoiled nature of him. Whatever. We hope that we could move out soon by next year.
Everyday, I worried about these. I even dreamed about these too.
Maybe because, I got really nothing much to do these past few days, other than sleeping and eating.
I’m into cooking and watching korean soaps and doing my prenatal activities these past few weeks / months, but because of the monsoon season I’m getting stressed day by day so I got to resort to bed rest to calm myself and our baby. Hopefully things go well as planned and prayed.
Looking and feeling Stressed?! God bless us ❤